I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.

When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore.

If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be beautiful.

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

I don't drink anymore... I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle.

It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me!'

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.

Somewhere there's a someone for me. Though I may be lonely now, I'll see it through somehow, to somebody's heart I know I hold the key.

Most people say, 'Never let anyone change you.' Well, I must say that this only applies to those who are living in the positive direction.

The only "right" answer is one that can be questioned.

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.

The seven wise men of Greece, so famous for their wisdom all the world over, acquired all that fame, each of them, by a single sentence consisting of two or three words.

Whenever I travel anywhere, I'm constantly asked if I'm Swedish. It's the burden of most Norwegians. The Swedes have just got a better publicity agent, I think.

A manpossessesnothing certainlysavea brief loanof his own body.

We now have in our hands—really, in our libraries—the technology to feed, clothe, and supply energy to an ever-growing population for the next seven billion years.

The child who was happy with herself meant the parents had won the jackpot.

You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There's still lots of good in the world. Tell Dally. I don't think he knows.

There exists in man a mass of sense lying in a dormant state, and which, unless something excites it to action, will descend with him, in that condition,to the grave.