I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

Just Smile .Because no one can steal it from you.

If you are not praying the type of prayers that scare you, your prayers are certainly not frightening our enemy.

A nation ringed by walls will only imprison itself.

When you're talking about Iraq and oil, you're talking about a mess, no matter who's in charge.

A calculating engine is one of the most intricate forms of mechanism, a telegraph key one of the simplest. But compare their value.

We can say farewell to 10 years of bourgeois rule... now we have the opportunity to change Denmark.

No wind favors he who has no destined port.

If an invisible man catches on fire, can you see him burn?

...A long struggle lies in store for me in this field of color.

Education today does not impart to the students the capacity or grit to face the challenges of daily life. The educational field has become the playing ground of ignorance.