I only really work when I want to.

I'll tell you what I would do in a shot if I could. I would sing in the barbershop quartet in The Music Man.

I'm a perfect example of the grumpy, old man. I'm really good at it.

I've had this problem since I was in my 20s. They don't call it manic depression anymore. They call it a bipolar disorder, and I'm a Type 2?

It always impresses me when a person of small stature has command.

I want to see the writers strike because the writers, god bless them, are the only true commies we have in Hollywood.

I was born just barely south of the Mason Dixon line.

I'm blessed with eight children - though I'm talking about eight adults now.

I'm getting grumpier all the time.

...much of modern military tactics is geared toward maneuvering the enemy into a position where they can essentially be massacred from safety. (pg. 140)

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

That's the crazy thing about lies. You start to fall for them, yourself.

- What happens to people that love each other?- I suppose they have whatever they have, and they are more fortunate than others. Then one of them gets the emptiness forever.

Absence is one of the most useful ingredients of family life and to do it rightly is an art like any other.

Writing gave me a second chance - not to change things, but to savor them. That is a great gift.

No character is ultimately tested until it has suffered.

The fact that drilling won't solve every problem is no excuse to do nothing at all.

One time, my mother told me that I always eat like I'll never see food again. And I said, "I won't unless I bring it home." That shut her up.

The great ages did not contain the best talent, they wasted less.