I picked out my Halloween costume. I’m going as 'Slutty Madeleine Albright.'

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

A democracy without values easily turns into open or thinly disguised totalitarianism.

Summer was a book of hope. That's why I loved and hated summers. Because they made me want to believe.

If I had a dog I would not feel so lonely, but I suppose that is asking for too much.

You have to respect people's suffering. To deny that the world is unfair and painful for most of the people living in it would be false and judgmental.

I bend but do not break.

As a player all you can do is play within yourself, even in the context of a team sport.

Most people dont know that Ill eat anything spicy. A little extra kick is always a good thing!

When you're on set, you have to perform and look the part.

The most important thing is the first proclamation: Jesus Christ has saved you.

My country, right or wrong, but still my country.