I play myself on everything I do.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.

Don't thank the lord, I gave you that compliment... Thank me.

My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.

I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon.

Acting is fun; it's easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That's ultimately what I'd like to do.

GOD made you a masterpiece, stop treating yourself like a shattered piece.

Every loving word and action create a far reaching ripple effect - like the waves of the ocean.

If you can grasp those two truths—you are made in His image and dependent on Him—you will discover a great dignity and at the same time a profound humility.

I can't imagine working without and audience.

Well chaps first I'd like to say a few vile things more or less at random, not only because it is expected of me but also because I enjoy it.

I was always being creative. I could never have played a defensive role because I would have been forced to destroy the other player's creativity.

I’d rather be at home making love to my wife while my children are asleep.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death.

I managed to slip two children out in the middle of my career and have been lucky with all the work.