I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

A star on its worst day shines brighter than the moon on its best day.

Because of its tremendous solemnity death is the light in which great passions, both good and bad, become transparent, no longer limited by outward appearences.

My best business decision is always to have been unembarrassed about negotiating a decent deal. Not being coy or shy about money is second nature to me.

As long as the body is not in perfect health, you think about it, and that prevents you from thinking of the mind. The sound mind is a sound body.

My derring-do allows me to dance the rigadoon around you but by the time I'm close to you I lose my desideratum.

Possession without obligation to the object possessed approaches felicity.

When I was seven, I asked my mom if I could be on TV, and she said if I really wanted to, I could. I got an agent and booked my first audition.

I do not eat meat, I do not smoke, and I do not drink, and therefore, I do not feel the cold.

What we need is an entrepreneurial society in which innovation and entrepreneurship are normal, steady and continuous.

My legs are really long and that's cool apparently, but I'm totally klutzy. I mean, I'm like Bambi. I fall all over myself because I can't control my arms and my really long legs.