I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

Happiness is wanting what you have.

Problems comes and goes that's why don't have to act like you own them, Million of human kind they have exact problems as yours, so how can you call them your problems.

What a holler would ensue if people had to pay the minister as much to marry them as they have to pay a lawyer to get them a divorce.

I have gotten over feeling badly. We would be eternally miserable if our errors worried us too much because as we push forward we will make plenty more.

Abortion is a denial of one of those powers which make women women.

Courage that grows from constitution often forsakes a man when he has occasion for it; courage which arises from a sense of duty acts; in a uniform manner.

Committing yourself to one person is sacred.

We lack resolve and blame fate, mistaking the drift for the tides.

I seem to keep returning to my father in poems because his personality was so extreme, so driven. He did everything to excess.

People spend money when and where they feel good.