I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.

A good heavy book holds you down. It's an anchor that keeps you from getting up and having another gin and tonic.

It's my belief that sanity lies in realizing that reality is not exactly what we had in mind.

Mozart combined high formality and playfulness that delights as no other composition in any other medium does.

People don't necessarily want or need to be done unto as you would have them do unto you. They want to be done unto as they want to be done unto.

Ham's substantial, ham is fat. Ham is firm and sound. Ham's what God was getting at When He made pigs so round.

Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.

The legendary yet factual Curtis Wilkie has been the right man in the right place at an uncanny number of extraordinary times.

The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.

The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs'.

Going to Vanderbilt did a lot of things for me, and one of the things it cured me of was the need to follow college football.

If we seek the excellent knowledge of Christ Jesus, we shall be filled with fullness of God.

Tastes change, Cherie. I find the older I get the more I like to be reminded of my youth.

Enjoy the successes that you have and don't be too hard on yourself when you don't do well. Too many times we beat up on ourselves. Just relax and enjoy it.

At Thanksgiving, I always start at the top of my list and say I'm grateful for friends, family, and good health. Then I get more superficial... like being thankful for my Louboutins.

It used to be thought that only a certain kind of virus could get into our genome and it's called a retrovirus and that's a virus that might be HIV for example.

From time to time, it is worth wandering around the fuzzy border regions of what you do, if only to remind yourself that no human activity is an island.

If I can find the time to do it, I'll probably become a yoga teacher.

I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.

If you can't see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror.

The key question in order to change you is not 'What would Jesus do?' but "What has Jesus done for you?"