I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You alwaysdrop by, to en-lighten my mind, when my wings arefeeling heavy &i've forgottenhow tofly.

Can't couldn't do it and could did it all.

They had a saying: An Arab loves in the order of: his son, his camel, and his wife - but there were times when one was allowed to take precedence over the other!

If only God would give me a clear sign like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Protecting the weak is the first step to enlightenment and being truly civilized.

I have been interested in phenomena involving complexity, diversity and evolution since I was a young boy.

You see that's what I think is such a terrible, terrible betrayal, the trust that people have in government.

Solving problems—actually solving them, not just claiming you do—solving perceived, urgent problems, is a surefire way to get the world to beat a path to your door.

Women's Lib? I couldn't stand it.

As actors, if you get a pilot on HBO or on USA, your odds are good that it's going to get picked up.