I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.

My parents were my worst audience.

I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.

For 45 years I've worked without an audience.

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.

We can believe things that are true, and we can believe things that are not true. Which is more important---what is true, or what we believe?

Each victory with God can bring a reassurance once more that the ones born of God are victorious

Speak no evil, that thou mayest not hear it spoken unto thee, and magnify not the faults of others that thine own faults may not appear great.

Refining is inevitable in science when you have made measurements of a phenomenon for a long period of time.

The Internet is one area that I have used pretty effectively to break free of corporate control.

Everything goes, everything is lost, eventually. But if something is good, it doesn't matter what happens. The ending is still happy.

I developed a loyal following. No one knew I was homeless.

I hope I never need to believe in God. It would be an awful confession of failure.

Doubts are more cruel than the worst of truths.

Satiety is a neighbor to continued pleasures. [Lat., Continuis voluptatibus vicina satietas.]