I rang my mother to thank her for giving birth to me and she said, "What choice had I? You were in there, how else were you going to get out?

I never wear flats. My shoes are so high that sometimes when I step out of them, people look around in confusion and ask, "Where'd she go?" and I have to say, "I'm down here.

I've always been melancholic. At a party, everyone would be looking at the glittering chandeliers and I'd be looking at the waitress's cracked shoes.

I like hoodies. They just make me feel safe.

You will go on and meet someone else and I'll just be a chapter in your tale, but for me, you were, you are and you always will be, the whole story.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

What doesn't kill us makes us funnier.

Relationship gurus always said that an attraction based on friendship and mutual respect was far more likely to stay the course - and the bastards were right.

I went grey at 12, my eyesight went at 17. I've been a crock from very early on.

I know of people who don't believe it, but depression is an illness, but unlike, say, a broken leg, you don't know when it'll get better.

My truth is that what doesn't kill you makes you weaker rather than stronger, although it makes you wiser.

Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.

I wasn't trying to be anything. I was just myself.

'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.

Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!

And if we were another country being analyzed by America, we would conclude that this country is ripe for stealing elections and for fraud.

come and get it, you dumbass

I don't have any plugs or tucks but people do what they want. I look at it as mutilation.

The strong man holds in a living blend strongly marked opposites.

It is a beautiful thing when folks in poverty are no longer just a missions project but become genuine friends and family with whom we laugh, cry, dream and struggle.

Finding people who get enormous pleasure from reading books is a more and more unusual experience, and so writers just so much want to be heard.