I rant, therefore I am.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Hatred must be a hard thing to learn.

I love the MLB app, because I'm a pretty obsessed baseball fan.

I just like being around people, especially nice people, and there are a lot of nice girls on tour.

To be involved in a senior tournament back in the States is very satisfying.

I found my student of the year, and now Tata Nano is searching for India's student of the year

I'm so totally future oriented that, for me, I don't know what the future's about, but I can promise you it's gonna be exciting.

I use the words gods and goddesses principally, I think, to mean beautiful bodies - bodies that are absolute instruments. And I believe in discipline, I believe in a very definite technique.

We're going to be examining, how can we more properly screen and vet people coming into the United States? We will also be looking at the border.

Humiliation, slavery, fear have perverted us to the bone; we no longer look like men... . Men must be granted the respect due to them.

There are three answers to prayer: yes, no, and wait a while. It must be recognized that no is an answer.