I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.

I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.

People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic is you'll think of better tags."

I find it actually the height of romance to legally bind yourself to someone because you're really taking care of someone, and letting them take care of you. I actually have no cynicism about that.

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

Sometimes I look [ on trolls on Twitter], but even one ignorant comment can make me go, "Oh god."

I am just really focused in on what I love doing, but I would be a moron to not take some of my natural talent - I'm not saying I'm that talented, but I have enough acting and writing talent to go.

What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.

I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.

Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.

That's the same thing that is making me like George W. Bush. "He was nice. I know he was nice. He didn't know what he was doing but he was nice."

The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step. So we must never neglect any work of peace within our reach, however small.

I never regret anything... I just lie about it or change the story.

Steel is not forged in a comfortable place.

His heart; some long word at the heart. He is dying of a long word.

Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.

the delicacy that respects a friend's silence is one of the charms of life.

A thing well done is worth doing.

I seriously doubt I would ever have written the first story had I not been a lawyer. I never dreamed of being a writer. I wrote only after witnessing a trial.

We are free, but no to be evil

With my music, with what I do, I would like to bring a light into the world.