I really don't go out every night to red-carpet events.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

When you make an embarrassing mistake, learn to let the memories be enough to let you laugh about it today.

This form of love is like the painof childbirth: so intenseit's hard to remember afterwards,

Sometimes it seemed like the whole point of life was not to die the same death as your father.

Thoughtcrime does not entail death: thoughtcrime IS death.

And when you love a book, commit one glorious sentence of it-perhaps your favorite sentence-to memory. That way you won't forget the language of the story that moved you to tears.

I have three treasures that I cherish. The first is compassion. The second is moderation. The third is not claiming to be first in the world.

There is nothing like despair to make one throw oneself upon the gods.

Be peace, don't just talk about it.

Read a lot, live your life, and listen and watch, so that your mind fills up with millions of images.

Christ is with us until the world's end. Let his little flock be bold therefore.