I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

hit with your fist, not with your finger spread

Those who look outside can only see an illusion. Those who look inside may see the reality.

The vision is not to see things just as we have imagined them to be. The vision is the freedom to live deliberately every day and that is simply a choice.

That most pleasant weather to feel is the one never felt.

There was more good acting at Hollywood parties than ever appeared on the screen.

Camera phones threaten to turn everyone into amateur paparazzi. We are witnessing our personal space shrink because of the way technology is being used.

Somebody has inquired as to whether I will be going to the opening baseball game. I hope to have that pleasure.

There is luck in chess. My opponent was lucky that he was playing against an idiot.

If you want more of something, subsidize it; if you want less of something, tax it.

Humans are capable of so much creativity and goodness and at the same time they are destructive and cruel. (Leta)