I recently attended a pro-drug rally... in my basement.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

Never make a promise which you think is hard to keep. Never make a promise though!!

Animals, like us, are living souls. They are not things. They are not objects. Neither are they human. Yet they mourn. They love. They dance. They suffer. They know the peaks and chasms of being.

My husband cannot throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times.

What else has a journalist to do these days, after all, but report life's miseries?

I would rather go while I am being urged to stay, than to stay beyond the time when I should go.

For each album, I let the music that I love at that point in my life be my guide.

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste.

When we're identified with Awareness, we're no longer living in a world of polarities. Everything is present at the same time.

In the end the reason for anything is inseparable from the reason for everything.

I listen to a lot of 80s stuff, like Owner of a Lonely Heart, by the group Yes. And Mr. Misters Broken Wings.