I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

The reward of a work is to have produced it

I am hated for loving.I am haunted for wanting.

When moral posturing is replaced by an honest assessment of the data, the result is often a new, surprising insight.

My influences were mostly gospel. So I was playing my twisted Jewish equivalent of gospel music over his twisted equivalent of rock and roll music. And it was a very excellent marriage.

Self-esteem is made up primarily of two things: feeling lovable and feeling capable.

Labor was marching toward the goal of industrial democracy and contributing constructively toward a more rational arrangement of our domestic economy.

I wish my Google was faster.

You don't have to aim to be the best of everything, thinking that one day you're going to be the top of the world; I don't think it exists.

Brokenness is the bow from which God launches the arrow of healing.

A racial community provides not only a sense of identity, that luxury of looking into another's face and seeing yourself reflected back, but a sense of security and support.