I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far."

I want to manufacture a feud.

If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I don't like gadgets for their own sake. I like gadgets that are tools. And I like simple gadgets that do one thing really well like a hammer.

I have to stay true to myself.

If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.

literature was the best plaything that had ever been invented to make fun of people.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns a lesson he can learn in no other way.

The truth never hurts worse than finding out someone you care about lied to you.

There is no excuse for deceiving children. And when, as must happen in conventional families, they find that their parents have lied, they lose confidence in them and feel justified in lying to them.

We didn't really differ [with Frank Moore Cross] because we have the same love of the text. We share that love.

So much destruction in modern war takes place miles and miles away from the source of the destruction, the human being who has caused it.

He who seeks for gain, must be at some expense.

Pride is seldom delicate; it will please itself with very mean advantages.

I think of doing a series as very hard work. But then I've talked to coal miners, and that's really hard work.