I remember when I took a temp job... so I got a job at a department store. Something temporary to put on my resume, my parents said. Yeah... till I die!

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

An emotion is the result of a brain's strategy to manifest a heart's decision.

Spring is the season of restoration of all living things.

There is an invisible world out there, and we are living in it.

The possibilities for mobilizing the experience, imaginations, and intelligence of workers, both employed and unemployed, are limitless.

If you are wired to your memory, repetitions will happen and redundancy will come; but if you are paying attention, that changes your ability to look at things.

If I fancy a girl, I'll tell her. I'll say: 'You're fit.

The president [Donald Trump] said his three-part agenda is jobs, jobs, jobs.

Man is a wingless animal with two feet and flat nails.

They [men and women] have both been, and men especially, have been told that how they naturally are is bad.

Change is most sluggish at the extremes precisely because the derivative is zero there.