I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

A poet or philosopher should have no fault to find with his age if it only permits him to do his work undisturbed in his own corner

12 Hours on the computer... sounds like I am vip... few people stay on computer so long or not big %.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

Columbus's doom-burdened caravels Slant to the shore, and all their seamen land.

I also go on long walks with my dog, a golden retriever named Breeze-and I work out with weights at a health club a couple of times a week.

We need to save the Arctic not because of the polar bears, and not because it is the most beautiful place in the world, but because our very survival depends upon it.

Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is, and you must bend to its power or live a lie.

Incremental change is better than ambitious failure. . . .Success feeds on itself.

He does much who loves much.

Just remember, when you should grab something, grab it; when you should let go, let go.