I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Too many people are endowed with a feeling of entitlement, but born without God-given empathy.

Reading is an act of resistance. Against what? Against all constraints.

Liberty and equality are captivating sounds, but they often captivate to destroy.

I've been getting chatted up by men ever since I was 14.

I want to be the band everyone knows that goes hardest. Plays the hardest, parties the hardest, lives the hardest, loves the hardest, does everything the hardest, harder than anybody else.

My own personal favorite Cher song is the unforgettable Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.

A person is a person through other persons; you can't be human in isolation; you are human only in relationships.

I don't eat bubble gum, but I like the smell.

First, if you love the Kindle and it works for you, it isn't problematic, and you should ignore all my criticisms and read the way you want to read.

A lot of pop music is based on trying to make people remember it so that they'll buy it. To me, it was not about that.