I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

Choosing to know yourself deeply hands you a torch to see beyond yourself, into the future. Into a strong future.

From cradle to grave, Talal sprinted through life.I never did see a life extinguished so abruptly.

Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

For truly it is to be noted, that children's plays are not sports, and should be deemed as their most serious actions.

I didn't ask anyone to make me a poster boy, because poster boys always end up on dart boards.

Don't ever forget where God found you.

I just think that pick-up lines in general are horrible. None of them work.

It's fun making new skills for new characters.

Love doesn't limit itself to relationships: it is a celebration of life.

Your thinking creates your reality.