I ride because there’s nothing like in the world. It’s a passion. It’s something I absolutely have to do and I can never imagine not doing it.

I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.

I like psycho chicks... Yeah, you hook up with a psycho, you're gonna learn something. First thing you learn is how to sleep with one eye open.

We had one idiot put a bomb in a shoe, and now everybody's got to take their shoes off? Where's the bra bomber at? I say, if we've gotta wait in line, let's make it fun for everybody.

A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that's what I do. I don't start a focus group to see who got hurt by the joke.

I have fantasies of burning down an insurance company just so THEY have to make a claim.

I was on the highway - I saw the scariest thing in the world, man. I saw an Asian driving an SUV. Really, I just drove my car right into the guardrail, figured I'd save him some time.

I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.

I grew up in the suburbs. I'm an angry suburban nergo. I'm bad in, like, Starbucks. I'll hurt you over a frappuccino.

Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat.

Every day theres something new. Something's going to destroy us all. Then it disappears.

A loyal pet is better than a faithless friend.

It's so silly not to be nice.

Given a limited budget, the most effective expenditure of funds to improve a street would probably be on trees.

When it comes to the military, we have no choice. We cannot have a depleted military.

Preserve your conscience always soft and sensitive. If but one sin force its way into that tender part of the soul and dwell there, the road is paved for a thousand iniquities.

Come on, a 25-page digression on god? You can’t have that kind of thing, cut it out!”

Let's put it this way: if you need to ask a lawyer whether what you do is "right" or not, you are morally corrupt. Let's not go there. We don't base our morality on law.

I loved everything. I read everything. Art and poetry and literature and trash and sci fi. I didn't know what I would become yet and I needed to read to figure it out.

Sometimes I try to meditate, which I hope will help, but it doesn't really. But lots of times my dreams have the seed of an intriguing story.

The modern concept of the vacuum of space, confirmed every day by experiment, is a relativistic ether.