I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

One can never have enough socks, " said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.

War does one good—it teaches people geography.

Death and parting are the same.

Negative thoughts stick around because we believe them, not because we want them or choose them.

All the great writers root their characters in true human behaviour.

If you know me, I don't live in this dismal world. I mean, I like to have fun. My friends are comedians.

I actually met Chick Corea in New York, where I was staying with a bass player friend.

A fair share of anything is starvation diet to an egomaniac.

I use the words you taught me. If they don't mean anything any more, teach me others. Or let me be silent.

Your biggest failure is the thing you dreamed of contributing but didn't find the guts to do.