I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

Say what you want about the deaf.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

The starting place for radical re-imagining of love is mindfulness.

I always have a sense of trembling, but so does a compass, after all.

Dare to succeed. You were born to win.

If your holy book makes you hate, you're reading the wrong shit, mate.

Hear others, and you will be heard.Understand others, and you will be understood.Help others, and you be will be helped.Love others, and you will be loved.

I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it.

I always interpret coincidences as little clues to our destiny

Whomever you're going to interview, you have to be interested in what it is you want to know from them. You have to be interested in the subject.

If the rise of European colonisation began in 18th century India, then the rallying cry of 'Jai Hind!' also signalled its end in 1947.

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.