I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Serious art is born from serious play.

The black wolf’s curse awakes every time that a full moon points in the middle of the sky.

It is curious what patches of hardness and tenderness lie side by side in men’s dispositions. I suppose he has some test by which he finds out whom Heaven cares for.

And what would they find on sale? His sanity? Could be. Half-Price. Smoke and Water Damage. Everything Must Go.

If you work hard, you will be rewarded at the end of the day.

The Americans are stuck in Iraq and have no way out. They are like a wolf whose tail has been caught in a trap.

I love Drake -- he is very talented and I like his effortless attitude in terms of his style and music.

The right to reticence seems earned only by having nothing to hide.

Smatterers in learning are the most opinionated.

Prayer may just be the most powerful tool mankind has.” ~Blink