I see by the papers that you have once more stirred that pool of intellectual stagnation, the educational convention.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal.

A government is just only when the whole people share equally in its protection and advantages.

The best protection any woman can have... is courage.

The bible teaches that women brought sin and death into the world. I don't believe that any man ever talked with god. The bible was written by man out of his love of domination.

The heyday of woman's life is the shady side of fifty.

The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to women is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading.

When we consider that women are treated as property it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.

Because man and woman are the complement of one another, we need woman's thought in national affairs to make a safe and stable government.

I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns.

So long as women are slaves, men will be knaves.

Don't come to God because you have a problem

a story is ready when it falls from your face

The funniest people are the saddest once

All my TV shows are done live in front of audiences, and all the material I take on the road and travel with them test them for hundreds and hundreds of shows before I shoot them for TV.

Straw purchasing is illegal.

Its all about taste.If you are cheap, nothing helps

I don't like L.A. It's just not fun. I don't know why, but I just don't get it. You have to drive to get everywhere, and when it rains everybody freaks out.

The New York voice reflects its diversity, its foreignness, and, inevitably, the sense of superiority New Yorkers feel or come to feel. It says, without saying, We Know.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hillary Clinton is a crook.

I don't presume to think I'm great at anything.