I see gr-reat changes takin' place ivry day but no change at all ivry fifty years.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

A psycho murderer who lubed. How considerate.

That's not fair!" Charlotte said."I thought you were a grown lady -- you know life is neither fair nor kind.

May God protect me from gloomy saints.

I wasn't like a Fifties dad.

People in L.A. think Im so posh. They think I live in Downton Abbey.

The firmest of friendships have been formed in mutual adversity, as iron is most strongly united by the fiercest flame.

I think there was a petition online to get me involved in Doctor Who. Im not a Doctor Who fanatic, but I am a Steven Moffat fanatic.

Let no man imagine that he has no influence.

It's the only real advantage to getting older. You get to say what you mean and stop apologizing.

I think the mission for the writer is to tell stories in a compelling way about the stuff that cannot be talked about, that cannot be gotten at with shallow media.