I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.

If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

No one is a natural - you have to work at being a natural.

Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!

True stories can't be told forward, only backward. We invent them from the vantage point of an ever-changing present and tell ourselves how they unfolded.

Dominicans are in fact, Haitians by default.Since the natives named the whole island named Haïti, stop being a dolt.

Expansion (both far and wide) is the order of the day

Global warming is more of a blessing than a curse.

When lifes seems hopeless, rearrange things for a dose of dopeness.

This nation is the hope of the Earth.

People always ask about my influences, and they cite a bunch of people I've never heard of

I like to cook; it is, for me, a happy combination of mindlessness and purpose.

Liberals are concerned about the concentration of wealth because it almost inevitably leads to a concentration of power that undermines democracy.