I see my purpose in life as making the world a happier place to be in.

I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet.

Keep the circus going inside you, keep it going, don't take anything too seriously, it'll all work out in the end.

Watching too much TV can triple our hunger for more possessions, while reducing our personal contentment by about 5 percent for every hour a day we watch.

A philosopher once noted that people long for immortality but run out of things to do on a rainy afternoon.

Dreams don't have an expiration date.

Champagne offers a minimum of alcohol and a maximum of companionship.

Stardom is like making love in a hammock - a happy experience but one of uncertain duration.

Isn’t it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?

I've taken up the Bible again, somewhat in the spirit of W.C. Fields - looking for loopholes.

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.

It's not the lies he tells, it's the seductive way in which he persuades you they are not true.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

Managers have people second-guessing them all the time.

A platform is something a candidate stands for and the voters fall for.

The knowledge of God, the formation of ideas, the mastery of desire and passion, the distinction between that which is to be chosen and that which is to be rejected, all these man owes to his form.

boredom was born on a day of uniformity.

Given angel's wings, where might you fly? In what sweet heaven might you find your love? Unwilling to be bound, where might you move, Lost between the wonder and the why?

Emotions are like waves. Watch them disappear in the distance on the vast calm ocean.

Donald Trump is perfectly made up. He's perfectly coiffed. He's perfectly lit.

If we don't consciously plant the seeds of what we want in the gardens of our minds we'll end up with weeds.