I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!"

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

The ability to cultivate the land is the growth of any nation.

[from a reader] I hope she learns to look for the joy in life instead of picking out negatives - it will change her life for the better.

Your success will be affected by the quality and quantity of new ideas you suggest.

Nothing you can do can prevent your death. Nothing you can do can prevent your rebirth. To step beyond life and death is self-discovery.

Darkwing Duck and Don Karnage are the most fun to do, because they're both probably the closest to me - I kinda improvise a lot of them, kinda ad lib.

Dad made it to Gold Shield Detective, so he always busted Robin, my oldest brother, and me. Always got caught, whatever we were doing.

I think sensuality is a part of me. It's not all of me, but it's a part of who I am.

It is a simple chemical reaction that has nothing to do with fusion.

merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again

My job is what millions of people do for recreation. How can you not like that?