I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

A lady, without a family, was the very best preserver of furniture in the world.

The perfection preached in the gospels never yet built an empire. Every man of action has a strong dose of egotism, pride, hardness, and cunning.

You must value the business in order to value the stock.

I'm from a Gypsy background!

We were fools and now we were driving to our deaths in a rental car. Janet Jackson was tinkling from the speakers, asking what we had done for her as of late

I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.

Anyone who has spent five seconds in my company, or two seconds in my bedroom knows that I am not a white supremacist.

The whole hardware industry has experienced the phenomenon in which every time computers get cheaper, they appeal to a new set of users; every time they get more powerful, old customers upgrade.

When you're younger, you feel like work is work and relationships are supposed to be easy. As you get older, you realize you have to work at relationships to make them sustainable.

A newspaper that reduces its coverage of the news important to its community is certain to reduce its readership as well