I shall drink no #‎ wine before it's time! OK, it's time.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Suicide is an attack on society--an attack on its omnipotence, on its denial of death, and on its own despair.

How often in life do people make that awful sacrifice, that murder of possibilities?

If you wish to preserve your secret wrap it up in frankness.

Those who worship don't know, and those who know don't worship.

I find the question of whether gender differences are biologically determined or socially constructed to be deeply disturbing.

Face it, you have to be sort of an egomaniac to write something down and think that anyone is going to want to read it.

Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.

The ear is a less trustworthy witness than the eye.

Only people unhappy in the present seek to know the future.

Am I going to change the world, or am I going to change me? Or maybe change the world a little bit, just by changing me?