I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

I like anything Jennifer Lawrence is in. She's so beautiful.

Some people always sigh in thanking God.

There is evidence that Democrates were extremely careless in their handling of very sensitive, highly classified information.

I could write a book on the things I've done drunk.

Man is remembered by his deeds.

Readers transform a library from a mausoleum into many theaters.

We have all this courage as writers, but then there's this fear.

It's why muse is so impatient with me. I don't ever go to her until after the teaching or whatever is over.

Mostly I straddle reality and the imagination. My reality needs imagination like a bulb needs a socket. My imagination needs reality like a blind man needs a cane.