I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

It is unfortunate that many people today cannot realize the need around them.

The memories of sensei I carry with me are more cruel than sensei himself.

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.

I come from a very big family. Nine parents.

I know you're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks, but there ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box.

'Big business' was a bad phrase in India. To be accused of being big business was the worst accusation you could make. All that has gone now. The whole mindset has changed.

Sometimes Evil pursues the Warrior of the Light, and when it does, he calmly invites it into his tent.

If you have a single narrator, a person like an "I" - "'I' did this" and "'I' did that" - it automatically solves the most difficult problem in writing.

He who would greatly deserve must greatly dare.