I shot him the bird. (Get it? I shot him the—never mind.)

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

Sleep not under a willow tree for she weeps many tears.

The human face shines as it speaks of thingsNear itself, thoughts full of dreams.The human face shines like a dark skyAs it speaks of those things that oppress the living

When politicians say "I'm in politics," it may or may not be possible to trust them, but when they say, "I'm in public service," you know you should flee.

I'm going to miss everybody but unfortunately... it's time to go

The dictatorship of the Communist Party is maintained by recourse to every form of violence.

If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.

The great beacon light God sets in all, the conscience of each bosom.

We all get paid very, very well, and we have responsibilities.

When we realize how little we mean to the universe, we realize how important we are to each other

I'd rather not deal with such questions, because anyway it's like shearing a pig - lots of screams but little wool.