I should learn patience, it's a shame there's no time for that.

Most people are so mind-bogglingly aggravating that it's impossible to overreact to them, even if that means killing yourself.

I have also figured out that for many people death is a difficult subject, not at all as simple as it is for me.

Time erodes people, and when you are old enough you weigh nothing. It's comforting to know that I will never be as frail.

When you are unemployed, weekends are seven days long.

What do you call the Hrothgar-wrecker when Hrothgar has been wrecked?

The arctic loneliness of age.

Yea, Paris is a festive ton -- a festive Ton for all! Skate o'er on joy -- Thin crust of gilded, polished joy! What matters it if Hell's beneath?

As a rule, all heroism is due to a lack of reflection, and thus it is necessary to maintain a mass of imbeciles. If they once understand themselves the ruling men will be lost.

There is cruelty in the world Eliza, you can see that, can't you? It surrounds us. It breathes on us. We spend our life trying to escape it.

I've always subscribed to the notion that a writer always has something else to say, and the more you write, the more you have to write about, because the act of writing is self-generating.

I do not welcome advice from actors, they are here to act.

You pretty much have to be bad at it [stand-up] for several years to get good at it, so there's no avoiding embarrassing yourself.

Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast.