I should like to bury something precious in every place where I've been happy and then, when I'm old and ugly and miserable, I could come back and dig it up and remember.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

One forgets words as one forgets names. One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die.

I have lived carefully, sheltered myself from the cold winds, eaten moderately of what was in season, drunk fine claret, slept in my own sheets; I shall live long.

The truth is that Oxford is simply a very beautiful city in which it is convenient to segregate a certain number of the young of the nation while they are growing up.

Your actions, and your action alone, determines your worth.

He was gifted with the sly, sharp instinct for self-preservation that passes for wisdom among the rich.

Beer commercials are so patriotic: Made the American Way. What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently?

Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.

Wine is a bride who brings a great dowry to the man who woos her persistently and gracefully.

... To know and love one other human being is the root of all wisdom.

If I don't make it, I'll be very sad that there are things I didn't do, but I'm happy that I've done what I have.

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.

We always say, one day we will laugh at this. I always try to make sure that this one day is today.

When shooting a story about someone, their hands should always be on your list to shoot.

The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't; whichever seems likelier to win an effect.

Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday - what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.

I mean, Manhattan is cool. But weird parts, I like that. Jamaica, Queens, that's great.

Take my handkerchief, Scarlett. Never, at any crisis of your life, have I known you to have a handkerchief.

I delivered leaflets for my dad and was paid £5 per thousand, which was slave labour.

I like to be in the laboratory with the doors closed. I like experimenting and trying things.