I shrieked like a little girl, which, if you think about it, makes total sense.

I figured I only had about two seconds to live. It’s amazing how many thoughts you can have in two seconds.

I had a choice. My instincts told me to hurry up and give the choking man the Heimlich maneuver. My brain told me to stay still until he expired and chalk this one up to divine intervention.

This was a true pants-pooping moment.

She looked mean, but I think that was her natural resting face.

I had read once that dumb people didn't know they were dumb. They thought they were just as smart as anybody else. That was a very unsettling thought. What if I was really dumb and didn't know it?

Do not go where you don’t belong. I scoffed. That sounded like an invitation if I ever heard one.

A stealthy ninja monkey she was not.

That was when things got weird. You may have thought things were weird already, but this was uber-weird

If one believed in angels one would feel that they must love us best when we are asleep and cannot hurt each other

You are kind, caring and intrinsically good. I am hateful, vengeful and intrinsically evil.

I don't even know what a room without books looks like.

The SAS Reserve tends to be made up of former paratroopers and commandos who still want a challenge, but it is open to civilians.

Whenever you think that your needs are not being met, you’re telling the story of a future

It deserves and warrants conversation because somebody is saying, 'Hey, this offends me,'

Skaters are very much like peacocks.

The Christian life that is joyless is a discredit to God and a disgrace to itself.

No manager ever won no ballgames.

People judged my work without to have listened to it.