I simply cannot imagine why anyone would eat something slimy served in an ashtray.

A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf

Garden: One of a vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals.

Fairway: a narrow strip of mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.

The true definition of a perennial: Any plant which, had it lived, would have bloomed year after year.

Hoeing: A manual method of severing roots from stems of newly planted flowers and vegetables.

Follow through: The part of the swing that takes place after the ball has been hit, but before the club has been thrown.

Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.

I never thought being obnoxious would get me where I am today

All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die.

Sometimes I get the start of a story from a memory, an anecdote, but that gets lost and is usually unrecognizable in the final story.

Freedom is a small price to pay for survival.

Stars are holes in the sky, they are the light of Heaven coming from the other side.

I'm just a simple man standing alone with my old brushes, asking God for inspiration.

I was taught you never, ever disrespect your opponent or your teammates or your organization or your manager, and never, ever your uniform.

So it was constantly going back and forth between these two cultures that kept raising the question, well, how important is personal freedom? And I think that has always been of interest to me.

What now? (Shahara) I’m thinking. (Syn) Could you think a little quicker? (Shahara) You’re not helping. (Syn) You’re lucky you’re still breathing and not limping. (Shahara)

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.