I sing and dance. That's my job.

We should never judge a day by its weather.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to the script.

You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Attitude is almost more important than what happens to you.

You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly.

I didn't know the answers, but I could feel that the things that gave life meaning came from a place within and from the nurturing of values like tolerance, charity, and community.

I never had a lot of drive, but because I had family responsibilities, I had a lot of tenacity - the tenacity of a drowning man.

Walt Disney and I always said we were two children looking for our inner adults.

People think I'm talking like I'm in perfect health, but I have all the infirmities for my age. I have arthritis and all those things. But if you keep moving, that won't bother you.

In my seventies, I exercised to stay ambulatory. In my eighties, I exercise to avoid assisted living.

Smartass Disciple: Master, why God let human did sins in the beginning?Master of Stupidity: If the saviour must come, why should He prevent that?

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.

The nation which once held the creed that greatness is achieved by production, is now told that it is achieved by squalor.

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.

The name of the new religion," said Rumfoord, "is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent.

My work has the abstraction underneath it all now & what I deliberately set out to do down here, for this is the perfect realistic abstraction in landscape.

No one should ever finish a book they're not enjoying, no matter how popular or well reviewed the book is.

If there is a book you want to read but isn't written yet,write it.

I don't like reading music. It's like learning a language. You can't read music proficiently overnight. It takes time, it's boring work.