I sit in my garden, gazing upon a beauty that cannot gaze upon itself. And I find sufficient purpose for my day.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Some people make it really hard to remain as humanly possible

Education ought to foster the wish for truth, not the conviction that some particular creed is the truth.

I have a wig for when I go outside among the regular folks, so they don't feel uncomfortable because I have a Day-Glo color somewhere in my hair.

Radio in England is nonexistent. It's very bad English use of a media system, typically English use.

Which would be worse - to live as a monster, or to die as a good man?

We create our fate everyday

I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.

The takings clause of the Fifth Amendment is for conservatives what the equal protection clause of the 14th is for liberals.

If you do not receive Christ as the Lamb who saves and delivers, you will face Him as the Lion who stalks and devours.

Fortune may raise up or abuse the ordinary mortal, but the sage and the soldier should have minds beyond her control.