I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

There’s no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated.

When I have a wrong attitude, I look at life humanly. When I have a right attitude, I look at life divinely.

Pyramiding instructions appear on dollar bills. Add smaller and smaller amounts on the way up. Keep your eye open at the top.

My most resolute opponents believe that I am too visible, that I am a little too alive, that my name echoes too much in the texts which they nevertheless claim to be inaccessible.

Necessity is the most powerful divinity the world knows – it is the result of physical forces set in operation by ethical forces.

I try to help other people get through difficult times in their own lives.

Subliminal is about how we misinterpret our behavior because were unaware of what our unconscious minds are doing.

I'm an encourager at heart. I love to give words of encouragement and I love to receive words of encouragement. That's probably why words of discouragement affect me so deeply.

Forced worship stinks in God's nostrils

Here's one redeeming quality about Donald Trump. He's an equal opportunity offender.