I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like."

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.

Nick rubbed his hand across his face as he tried to make sense of her prattle. But that was the thing about Simi. She seldom made sense.

Jesus calls us to his rest, and meekness is His method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort.

My dream is to be on my boat. Or on an island. Or in my house in the country. That's my dream.

I endeavor to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be glad, content with what cannot be mended, and patient when there be no redress.

Iraq is no diversion. It is a place where civilization is taking a decisive stand against chaos and terror, we must not waver.

When you find a guy who is powerful, a big father figure, you latch onto him immediately.

Punk is just like any other sub culture or music. Straight rock music has those elements. I grew up in a place where the punk rock kids fed the homeless in the town square.

Just because you lose doesn't mean you're a loser, and champions don't quit.

It was a strange combination to absorb - the everyday concerns of the town doctor stuck in the middle of a discussion of his early days in seventeenth-century London.

Heaven take my soul, and England keep my bones!