I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.

A wacky, trendy outfit on a guy over 40 indicates he's got big issues.

Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date.

Men who have a lot of charm have it in place of something real that you are eventually going to want from them and find that they do not have.

No one would argue against the fact that L.A. leads the country in opportunities for being hip and pretentious.

A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs and bars along the Sunset Strip.

It's just like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!.

You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me.

My goal was always getting my work out in the world, and in many ways, I feel like the luckiest person alive.

The day is divided into two important sections: Mealtimes and everything else.

Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness.

You are not insane if you believe in things that don't exist. You are insane if you are the only one believing in it. This is the difference between religion and insanity.

Weaponry is a fear-raising idea.

I wasn't good company, that was true, and people avoided me, but that was all right. I was too busy dreaming.

And I communed with many different faiths and even when I wanted to be rebellious I never did not believe in Him. I never believed the people who said God was destructive or punishing.

The only way to truly know a person is to argue with them. For when they argue in full swing, then they reveal their true character.

Dissertations are not finished; they are abandoned.

The beckoning counts, and not the clicking of the latch behind you.

The riskiest thing you can do is get greedy.

To reap a perpetual harvest you need to sow a perpetual seed. I got a need for seed.

Walking is the number one exercise for your feet as well as your body. Barefoot walking is the ideal.