I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

the inletour friend looks as he didwhen we first knew him, and until I wake I believeI will die of grief, for I knowthat this boy grew into a manwho was a faithful friendwho died.

Tell the story you want to tell, and let it be as long as it needs to be. Worry about marketing it later.

Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

Shall love be blamed for want of faith?

I wanted to take the audience on a journey where that transition was funny and awkward. It's the same cynicism that [Strange] has.

I regret that the presentation I made at the UN turned out to be wrong. It was wrong on the stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction, but pretty much right on intentions and capabilities.

The voice of history is often little more than the organ of hatred or flattery.

When we reach the outer limit of what Scripture says, it is time to stop arguing and start worshipping.

We've allowed our military to decay, and we project weakness on the international stage.

There is no murder. We make murder, and it matters only to us.