I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Out of misery, comes unexpected joy.

Just a shower. If you want me to stay on the opposite side, I will. I won’t kiss. I won’t touch.”Echo flashes that siren smile. “What if I want to kiss you?”“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?

Belief in God and a future life makes it possible to go through life with less of stoic courage than is needed by skeptics.

The Silvertop and the Goldtop both had subtlety where it was needed but lots of definition as well. I liked the different voicings of the distortion/fuzz elements.

If the bible proves the existence of God, then Action Comics prove the existence of Superman.

I'm not annoying in relationships! I'm great!

Tennis players go into a press conference, and almost every one of them is the same. We do very little differently on a day-to-day basis.

Why pay $100 on a therapy session when you can spend $25 on a cigar? Whatever it is will come back; so what, smoke another one.

Why has Scandinavia been producing such good thrillers? Maybe because their filmmakers can't afford millions for CGI and must rely on cheaper elements like, you know, stories and characters.

Disgrace does not consist in the punishment, but in the crime.