I spilled spot remover on my dog now he's gone.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

True eloquence consists in saying all that is necessary and nothing but what is necessary.

Don't you remember sweet Alice Ben Bolt? Sweet Alice whose hair was so brown Who wept with delight when you gave her a smile And trembl'd with fear at your frown!

I'm not telling women to be like men. I'm telling us to evaluate what men and women do in the workforce and at home without the gender bias.

The Internet, and Google, and everything that goes along with that is awesome for some things, but not so awesome for other things. Because everything gets leaked nowadays.

Jay Cutler, he's a fine quarterback, but I think at times he gets a little nicked up.

The thing I do at the beginning is a "voice journal," a free form doc that is the character speaking to me. I just work on it until I start to hear different from my own, or the other characters.

Architecture is about ideas in the first place. You don't get to design until you have an idea.

I can tell it all in song: pathos, gladness, love, joy, unhappiness.

When I was labeled stupid, that scarred me forever.

The less said about me the better.