I started out with comedy in college, but had my major in Recreation Administration - which meant I wasn't going to get a real job - so I started doing a little standup.

If DreamWorks and Disney need that name to sell the cartoon and get people in the seats, that's what they need. It's not fair, but there's plenty of other work for us to do.

I used to be kind of bitter and jealous as well, but I get it. It's business.

Movies, obviously, are a little more lucrative. The initial paycheck is better.

Videogames are a little more work and they're a little more stilted.

I started doing stand-up in college.

If you say ‘we’re in this together, ’ I’m going to hurl.

The secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God.

They think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

Lucidity of speech is unquestionably one of the surest tests of mental precision...In my experience a confused talker is never a clear thinker.

Kids, man, they're way too honest. They're like mini-alcoholics.

Moderation consists in being moved as angels are moved.

Instead of plastic surgery, I'd rather have a height enhancement surgery.

I defy you to agitate any fellow with a full stomach.