I started pulling gags on Al [Pachino]. That was the moment I realized that he was absolutely out of his mind. I mean that he's certifiably insane. I wouldn't spend a night in a room where he's at.

I think everybody's weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.

if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate

We don't always cry because we are weak, sometimes we cry because we have been strong, brave and courageous for way too long.

I'm having too much fun today to worry about tomorrow.

People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.

I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.

Change is inevitable and the ultimate way of life. Change creates new opportunities for new beauties in life.

To say, ‘he lacks understanding’, about someone is an open kashay (inner weakness of anger-pride-deceit-greed).

If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loud!" (William Strunk) ... Why compound ignorance with inaudibility?

Fill the cup of happiness for others and there will be enough overflowing to fill yours to the brim.

You can't tell anyone anything. You have to teach people for them to remember. Let the person experience what you are teaching and they will learn.

Strange, that some of us, with quick alternate vision, see beyond our infatuations, and even while we rave on the heights, behold the wide plain where our persistent self pauses and awaits us.

AZRAEL: No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air.

About as close you can get to the perfect cerebral thriller: searingly smart, ridiculously funny, and fast as hell... I defy anybody to read the first page and not keep going to the last.

As for the presence of large NGF [nerve growth factor] sources in snake venom and male genital organs, they may be conceived as instances of bizarre evolutionary gene expression.

It is not necessary to be strong in every place if in the place you are vulnerable, you are loved.